Hello to you, whoever you are…
We will all at some point go through loss. It’s inevitable.
Some of you may already know I am going through a divorce, a divorce from my ‘other half’ of 9 years. I am writing this because I feel full to the brim and I feel the only way to calm the storm inside is to write about it, about whatever I feel I want to write about. I am an avid reader but can’t say I have ever tried writing myself. So here goes therapy post 1.
This post is on healing. What is that for you? I still don’t know if I am doing all the right things to heal myself, but I know I am trying oh so hard. It feels like I’m fighting a tidal wave some days, and other days (or moments of a day) life floats past without a thought of my sad current situation.
If you’ve gone through loss, whether that be a divorce, break-up or death of a loved one, I feel we all share a common ground here and that is, it’s awful/unbearable but more to the point we have a drive as humans to survive in this life. I want to survive this, I want to help myself. I want to do better and get better and feel better. I want to heal myself.
Let’s back track for a minute. I have gone through some real struggles in my life and been at the lowest points imaginable and somehow I have come out of the other end, despite not receiving any psychological help or medication for that matter. Our minds and bodies are incredible things and capable of fighting and healing in absolute times of need.
It is with these life experiences of self-healing that I write to you all to share my healing and pain process. I may touch one person with this post, I may not touch anyone with this post, but it doesn’t matter. This is for me now.
Part of healing for me has been about learning to listen to No.1; My feelings, emotions and questioning them, my appetite , thought patterns, wants, needs, dislikes. It can feel very selfish, especially if you tended take on the role of ‘carer’ with your other half, because your needs were always second or perhaps you never have given yourself time to give yourself what you need in life to be truly happy.
Some of the things that have helped me thus far along this journey…
- Meditation through Headspace App (can’t recommend this routine enough).
- Meetup App and joining different social groups/activities and meeting new people.
- Speaking out and telling friends and family members when I’m feeling low, and as a result recieving uplifting and positive replies back- this really can change your current mood.
- Having a project that inspires and excites you, my current one is redecorating my place.
- Reading uplifting/positive thinking memes on instagram (don’t judge!)
- Exercising and having a routine has really helped and also introduced many new friends into my life as a result of being a member of OrangetheoryFitness.
I know there are so many more little appreciations throughout my day that uplift me such as appreciating nature and beautiful scenery. Having a holiday to look forward to always helps but lets all be honest with one another unless you’re well off, this is something that most of cannot afford to keep up as a type of regular therapy (don’t we just wish we had it that easy some of the time!).
Where am I at?
Somewhere between finding my feet and occasionally finding them and tripping up.